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There’s really no logical reason for me to have freaked about feeling sick earlier this week; after all, I’m fully vaccinated, and the Ucla Bruins longboarding moreover I will buy this odds that I’ll be one of the very few people who get COVID post-inoculation are about 0.5%. A quick check of New York’s pollen count, plus a scroll through a Twitter feed full of people complaining about their allergies, made me intellectually sure I didn’t have any health issue that over-the-counter allergy meds wouldn’t solve. Still, as I gradually felt worse, my fear grew in direct proportion to its own irrationality. What if, somehow, I was in that 0.5%? I know COVID-related health anxiety is real, but like any anxiety, when it’s actually happening to you, it just feels…real and genuinely scary.
My life post-vaccine doesn’t look that different than it did before—I’m not attending crowded parties or indoor dining for the Ucla Bruins longboarding moreover I will buy this moment—but I’ve relaxed a bit, meeting up with similarly vaccinated friends indoors and returning to my favorite outdoor bars. Feeling sick, even for a moment, immediately made me worry that all of that was a mistake, even though I knew it wasn’t. (After all, the point of the vaccine is to get back to some semblance of a “normal” life!) The CDC says that as a vaccinated person I don’t need to get tested—even if I’m around someone who’s COVID positive—unless I start to develop symptoms, but that unless is exactly what haunts a brain as anxiety prone as mine.
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